If you’re looking to turn up the heat and explore something new in your intimate life, wax play might be exactly what you need.
Wax play is about so much more than hot dripping wax; it’s all about playing with temperature and touch to build up anticipation and increase sensation. An edge play-wherein the activity toys with risk-it’s important to be mindful of safety, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be fun and thrilling.
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Before You Begin: Basic Safety Precautions
Safety should never be compromised when it comes to wax play. Trust me, this is one form of play where a little prep goes a long way.
Here’s what I always keep on hand when I plan a wax play session:
- A cool cloth: This serves for those moments when either the wax is too hot or someone needs to cool off fast.
- First aid kit: Burns are infrequent if you use the right candles, but it’s best to be prepared.
- Fire extinguisher and water: When working with fire; good sense demands that you have these nearby.
- Emotional safety: Aftercare is essential, such as following an intense scene. I absolutely adore cuddling up afterward with my partner, peeling the wax off carefully, and talking about how we’re feeling. It’s a nice way to come back down to earth after excitement.
If you are completely new to wax play, finding formal training can help ease your nerves. I learned all the dos and don’ts in a workshop before I tried it at home.
Most classes tend to focus a bit on the theory first, then progress into hands-on demonstrations so that you feel confident in what you are doing.
Picking the Correct Candles for Wax Play
Not all candles are created equal, especially when it comes to putting them on your skin.
I have learned the hard way: prior to my first attempt, I thought any candle would work, but man, was I wrong! Those pretty little beeswax candles from the supermarket burn way too hot and can actually cause burns.
Here’s what I’ve found works best:
Soy or shea butter candles: These burn at a lower temperature and cool quickly when they hit the skin. I love using soy candles because they strike the perfect balance—warm enough to feel intense but not so hot that they hurt.
Massage oil candles: These are a fantastic choice if you want to ease into wax play. When they melt, the wax turns into warm massage oil, creating a two-in-one experience that feels incredible on the skin.
To give you an idea of how much temperature matters, scented paraffin candles burn between 120 F and 135 F, while beeswax can go up to 170 F. That’s a huge difference! So always check the ingredients and go for something body-safe like soy or shea butter.
Creating a Safe and Clean Play Space
Wax is messy, and it’s well worth taking some time to set up your space properly to save lots of cleanup time later on. I always put a towel down or lay down some sort of plastic to protect the floor or bed. It’s astounding how wax can get in places that you didn’t think it could!
Here’s some advice: If you or your partner have body hair, removing wax can be quite the ordeal.
Some people love the extra sensation of peeling it off slowly (kind of like peeling off a face mask), but others find it painful.
I recommend you try shaving or at least trimming areas where wax will land to make cleanup easier. Optionally, you can use tools like a loofah or even the dull edge of a butter knife to help remove any stubborn spots of wax.
How to Master Wax Dripping
Well, here’s where the fun really begins! But before you start dribbling hot wax all over your partner, you’ll want to try it on yourself first. I always do a little practice on the inside of my wrist or on my forearm to make sure that the wax isn’t too hot.
This is one of those times where a little preparation makes all the difference.
Pro tip: The farther away you hold the candle from the skin, the longer the wax has a chance to cool down while falling. I like to play with lengths to find out how this affects sensation.
Drops of wax a few inches away deliver a hotter, more intense sensation; holding the candle higher cools it before landing, which is easier on the skin.
As a rule of thumb, I avoid dripping wax above the shoulders. It’s just too risky, especially around the face. And never pour wax on open wounds or near genitalia—those areas are much too sensitive for the heat.
If you and your partner enjoy a Dominant/submissive dynamic, wax play can add an extra layer of control and sensation. I remember the first time I played with wax in a D/s scene—it was all about setting limits and testing thresholds. The feeling of surrender and trust made the experience even more intense.
Communication: Before, During, and After
I can’t stress enough but wax play does require communication. Start by talking with your partner about their boundaries.
Find out where are they comfortable having wax dripped? What sensations are they curious to try?
Don’t forget to establish safe words or signals (something I have stressed in several articles). This can immediately stop the scene if things get too intense.
During the scene, check in regularly. A simple “How does that feel?” goes a long way in making sure everyone stays comfortable and in control.
And afterward, don’t skip the aftercare. Wax play can be surprisingly intense, both physically and emotionally, so take time to wind down together.
Cleaning Up After Wax Play
Wax can be stubborn, but cleanup doesn’t have to be a pain. My favorite trick is either using a loofah in the shower or taking a butter knife and very gently scraping off the cooled wax. Be gentle around body hair if you haven’t shaved beforehand; it makes removal a bit painful, but it’s all part of the experience if that’s what you’re into.
Should the wax spill onto fabrics, don’t panic! Freezing and scraping off the wax just before washing, works wonders.
And as always, make sure your space is free from flammable materials before you start. It’s easy to overlook something like a stray piece of paper or a curtain near the bed when you’re caught up in the moment.
Wrapping it Up: Heat Things Up Safely
When done with attention and care, wax play can be a truly thrilling and sensual experience. With the right candles, an appropriate setup to ensure safety, and open lines of communication, this type of play can be explored in a manner that feels both exciting and safe.
Should the wax spill onto fabrics, don’t panic! Freezing and scraping off the wax just before washing, works wonders.
And as always, make sure your space is free from flammable materials before you start. It’s easy to overlook something like a stray piece of paper or a curtain near the bed when you’re caught up in the moment.
And don’t forget to check out our Best BDSM Toy Picks..